some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
They are going to name an STD after you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
