literally had 100 drinks last night.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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