office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My bed smells like the plague
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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