I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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