i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
