So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
