So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
