I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
