All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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