And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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