porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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