Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line

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(910): View more from North Carolina

For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.

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(802): View more from Vermont

hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up

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(573): View more from Missouri

Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12

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(574): View more from Indiana

It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.

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(850): View more from Florida

i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.

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(817): View more from Texas

So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.

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(727): View more from Florida

I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun

(1-727): View more from Florida

he's literally satan but yeah probably

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