I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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