He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Someone shit on the floor
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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