It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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