is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
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