i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
