I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
