nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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