I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
