...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
