just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
