My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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