Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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