haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
