It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
