If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
