I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
