Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
