You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
