He had one of those small greek statue penises
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
