He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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