You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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