okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
