He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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