I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
even my farts smell like vagina
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
