I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
