I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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