I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
