Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
