Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So many bounce houses so little time
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
