We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize