I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize