First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I need to stop coming to work sober
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
