it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you would pick up someone in the library
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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