The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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