It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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