Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
