am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
