Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
operation harelip BJ is a go
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
