Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
