Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
