He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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