when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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