i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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