I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
