Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
