Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
