i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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