Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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