if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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